The sweetest puppy in the world snuggling up to his soon-to-be little human sister.

10. As JoAnna continues to expand, I am starting to get the bed more to myself. No more jabs in the back, kicks to the groin, or the loud gurgle-snore my wife makes.

9. I can eat the amount of food I want and not feel remorse because JoAnna is eating almost double what I put down. We now have to order 2 large pizzas.

8. Frequent nap times on the weekends means more time for Playstation 3!

7. Ice cream, ice cream, and more ice cream.

6. Happy hour? No problem since JoAnna dozes off at about 7:30.

5. "I hate to tell you this dear, but your belly is bigger than mine."

4. I now win approximately 62.3% of our arguments because she doesn't have the energy to yell. Gotta love involuntary compliance!

3. That new Nikon camera is closer to reality because JoAnna wants the baby to look her best in pictures.

2. My doctor prescribed some kick-ass pills to take the edge off the delivery!

1. Daddy taking daughter for a walk = a whole lot of attention from chicks! Woo hoo!

So here is today - the official beginning of the third trimester. I cannot believe just how fast time has gone by, but also that we have experienced a pretty uneventful pregnancy. No morning sickness, no hormonal outrage outside of the norm, and all tests have come back normal. As far as blog material goes, I have had a big bag of nothing up to now.

During these last 2 months we have:

• Painted the nursery (neutral color) and the office/guestroom.
• Replaced all our carpet with laminate hardwoods. My allergies are thanking me for this investment as the amount of dog hair in our house has been dramatically reduced.
• Got additional term life insurance. I am just waiting for JoAnna to pop a cap in me and collect (j/k).
• Registered for about 75% of our stuff.
• Pre-registered for day care. I can't believe they already have a waiting list for December.
• Started our birthing class.

We have also come up with a first name, but I am not telling what it is just yet. This was something I anticipated would take forever, but the name we have decided was on both of our lists.

This was JoAnna back on May 7th. Baby's first vacation trip, in utero of course. Baby experienced the mountains, the desert, and a really bumpy-ass ride to some indian ruins.

This picture was taken back

in June. The setting is our posh office complex, so baby was thoroughly enjoying the cube farm.

This picture was taken at our hotel in Miami on June 25th. Baby tasted her first cuban food (which was bbbaaadd) and had her first Mojito. Don't worry, it was non-alcoholic.

This was taken just last weekend before our first birthing class.

OK - so I am getting hip to the fact that our house is about to be invaded by pink this, and pink that. I am OK that the testosterone balance is going to wane a bit. I am even OK that one day my daughter will want to put makeup on me - I dig that kind of silliness.

But I am not quite sure if I can come to terms with what I see in this video. The original title of it is "Are Women Born This Way?" Heaven help me if my sweet little chickpea turns out like this! ;)

I am not going to let my few viewers off that easy. I decided to video as much of today that I could, so you will have to watch it and find out what we are going to have in October. Do not cheat and go to the end of the video - suck it up for 4:42 because I have been waiting for 18 weeks.

If you are viewing this from Facebook, click here for the direct link.

I was coming back from doing a little shopping and somebody on XM was discussing movie dads. That got me thinking about this hypothetical - if I could create my soon-to-be dad persona, which movie dads would I like to have in my composition? So I think it only goes that I should create a list of movies containing what I consider to be the best, most entertaining dads. Here goes a short list from those that I have seen.

5.) Mr. Mom (Jack Butler) - I wish Michael Keaton was in more movies lately because I have always liked him. In this movie I really dig his ingenuity for getting things done such as using the iron to make a grilled cheese sammy, the hand dryer in the men's room to dry his kid's bottom, and stapling the woobie back together. But the best part of this movie is the complete role reversal where she brings home the bacon and he fries it up in a pan. It also isn't too shabby that he gets to have poker night with chicks - I could dig that.

4.) Parenthood (Gil Buckman) - One of my first records (you know, the vinyl kind) was Steve Martin's "Let's Get Small." I also used to have one of those arrow-through-the-head contraptions like he wore, so I have to have him on my list somewhere. I probably identify with this father character alot just because he seems to think like me. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it will probably be entertaining. I'll just have you know that I will not name my kid "Cool" and big ear cleaners while funny, will never be mistaken for a flashlight.

3.) The Sopranos (Tony Soprano) - OK, not really a movie but there is something about the dichotomy of being a bad-ass mobster yet still try to teach your kids morality and proper behavior. Classic irony.





2.) American Pie (Jim's Dad) - One of my guilty pleasures are rude, crude, teen movies that contain loads of sexual references and bathroom humor. I also love a good apple pie which was completely undone after I saw the director's cut of this flick. What doesn't scare the hell out of a father more than having to discuss the birds & bees, proper ways to use socks, and how to not "play" with your food all in the span of a few days?

1.) National Lampoon's Vacation (Clark W. Griswold) - Last week we were out in the New Mexican desert heading to some indian ruins by way of a very washboard dirt road - I couldn't help but think we were about to launch the car 50 yards. Never mind that the 2nd and 3rd installments were crap, this was probably the first movie I remember never wanting to go see as a kid but realized its genius later in life. It also gave me a term I started to use - "Griswoldian." So when JoAnna starts thinking of these big plans for perfect family trips and gatherings, I ask her to tap the brake because she is thinking a little "Griswoldian." Plus doesn't every family have an Eddie in it?

JoAnna has gone full dill and jumped from 5 directly to 7. Since it looks like she is making Vlasic the 6th component of the food pyramid, I took the liberty to invest in a large 46oz jar of kosher dills. Enough of the namby-pamby, pedestrian size jars, it was time to bust out the big-ass glass.

Even better is that tomorrow begins International Pickle Week. I am fairly confident my wife will be celebrating early and often.

What a slacker I am! I had such high aspirations for this blogging thing and I have quickly succumb to the pressures of the outside world. Maybe this is a good representation of what being a father will be like - I have all these grand ideas and plans laid out only to have things completely rearranged due to kid stuff. So in a weird sort of way maybe I can think of this as a test and not get too bent about it.

Since my last post very little "kid" things have happened. We visit the doctor on 5/21 to find out the sex, so that is going to be a very exciting time. Secretly my wife wants a girl so she can doll her up and secretly I want a boy so that the household is filled to the brim with testosterone (myself, kid, 3 male dogs). Pure and simple we just want a healthy pregnancy and child, just as long as it is a boy. ;)

JoAnna and I went to New Mexico & Colorado for a long weekend last week and had a great time with some fabulous friends. We stayed at a cabin on a lake up in the Rockies and had such a fantastic view. I could not stop admiring the view and thinking about how I need to do my part to make sure my kid sees nature in the same way.

Wait...did I just say that I need to preserve nature for my future generation? This cannot be! I have always been a go with the flow type of person and rarely stop to think about my actions and how they influence the future. Could this fatherhood thing really be changing my perspective on how I view the world? Probably. I already have my eye on a sweet minivan and that would have never happened just 6 months ago. Hopefully this is merely a softening of the ol' Joshster and not a complete wussification.

On the subject of the minivan - I talked to my coworker about it and we had a nice 30 minute conversation on all things related to the official vehicle of the soccer mom. It is amazing how detailed one can get discussing cupholders and backseat DVD systems. Something I caught as odd was both of us have wives that absolutely do not want to go the minivan route. The stigma has always sat squarely on the shoulders of men - a minivan is not manly because it doesn't go 0-60 in 5.5 seconds or cannot pull stumps out of the ground. I have always thought women embraced minivans like they embrace eating bon-bons on the couch while watching Oprah. Well...maybe I am wrong. But the minivan is cool and it will be mine one day - oh yes, it will be mine.

I have a rant formulating in my head for a later blog. It is about our doctor and his (lack of) dedication to technology. I actually will be meeting him for the first time next week when we talk about sex (of the baby), so I am going to hold off on that for now. But until then, any predictions on if it is going to be a boy or a girl?

This is a screen capture from an actual instant message session between myself and a coworker this morning. I know it is small, but if you click on the image it will open up a larger one.

I have a very low tolerance for body fluids. The one thing I am really nervous about is cleaning up after the kid until he/she is old enough to do it. I can barely clean up after our 3 dogs, so this story while funny because it involves poop actually scares the hell out of me.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the stinky.

We went to Central Market today for groceries and JoAnna scampered off to buy pickle jar #5. Upon coming back I gave her a look which must have been scolding because she dropped her head like one of our dogs after punishment.

I don't think I will be updating this post tonight saying she has downed the whole thing in one sitting because as JoAnna put it - she has a goal of one jar every 2 weeks. I almost believe her, but I can't get past her saying she didn't like the brand she bought tonight (not Vlasic) yet visited the jar more than once.

While on the subject of pickles - we went to Chick-Fil-A the other day for lunch. Both of us got a Chick-Fil-A sandwich which includes as they put "2 crucial pickles." Just as I think I know my wife's eating habits, she custom orders her sandwich to leave off the pickles. If you have any insight into how my wife works, please leave me a comment.

My birthday is coming up and I got a Flip Video Mino HD camcorder to produce quick videos. After I recorded this video and started watching it, I thought that I might record it again because I stumbled on a few words and it could probably be more engaging. But this is supposed to be spur of the moment stuff, so in the end spontaneity reigned over perfection. My future ones will probably be shorter since I normally don't talk more than 5 minutes at a time.

You have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words!!

My love of ice cream is legendary. One of my earliest and fondest memories is sitting on my grandfather's lap while we both chowed down on a bowl of ice cream. I wish I had the picture because I know there is one. I never get tired of the stuff and will go out of my way to satisfy my cravings. In college I would down Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip by the pint, usually several in one sitting. It is amazing that I am not heavier than 195.

Fast forward to 2007 - I get married and my lovely wife is not a dessert person. Sugar makes her sick which is hard to believe from somebody who once ate sugar sandwiches as a kid. Now that this pregnancy thing is going on, I have had to make several runs to the store for either pickles, Kashi cookies, or now ice cream. What once may be construed as a complete beat down (driving up to the store), I now enjoy because JoAnna has suddenly got a craving for ice cream. I better enjoy while it lasts.

Tonight I was checking the Facebook account and happened to hit the page of a coworker. I normally only read current statuses, but today I read a few of the older ones. I don't know why I did. Maybe it was fate. Perhaps it was some higher power guiding my eyes down the page, but I came to something that made me tingle with excitement. It read "...can I jsut tell you all how excited I am to have 3 pints of Graeters Black Raspberry Chip ice cream in my freezer!!!! Horray Kroger for starting to sell it here in Dallas! Mmmmmm yum!"

What??!!?? Graeter's in the Metroplex? Can't be!

Whenever I go to Cincinnati I always stop off at Graeter's at least 2 times to feed my craving. Being a native Texan means that Blue Bell runs cold through my veins, but this stuff is somewhat magical. My day always goes better with Graeter's.

8:00pm means it is damn near my bed time, but I had to get some tonight. Problem is that since only Kroger carries it, I would have to haul it over to Keller which is about a 15 minute drive. Such a small price to pay for getting all that creamy goodness in me. Let's just hope that both Keller and Fort Worth's finest are on dinner breaks because I am putting all 250hp to work tonight!

I tell JoAnna what I am doing and of course I get the requisite cookie order too, so in my mind this is a legitimate run to the store for the pregnant chick. Money! No need to feel bad now!

When I get to the store I start mapping out my plan. Ice cream is frozen. Ambient temperature is about 75 which means ice cream will melt. Hmm...better to minimize the time the ice cream is out of the freezer, so let's get the cookies first.

Strikeout! No cookies here which has been a constant in about 5 other stores. And while only Kashi cookies will do, this will yet be another time I get the evil eye when I make it back home only to give bad news. But since this was really originally an ice cream run, I didn't dwell on it too much. She can suck it up.

I make my way to the freezer section and go up the row once without seeing anything. Deep inside I am thinking about where the next closest Kroger is, but I figured I must have missed it. As I am going back up the row I spot what I was looking for. It was so beautiful, almost glowing like there was this aura around it. Yeah this is just ice cream, but my brain just works this way. I pick up 3 pints: Black Raspberry Chip, Mint Chocolate Chip, and a Chocolate Chocolate Chip for JoAnna. Now the only thing I can think of is sitting on my couch to enjoy my find.

If you remember up in this story I said I had about a 15 minute drive. Under normal circumstances this is not a big deal, but tonight I had precious cargo. I needed to ensure that my precious cargo made it from point A to point B safe and intact which in this case means minimal meltage. Ice...I needed a bag of ice. Insulation...I needed insulation. All total at the checkout, $16.59 for 3 pints, a bag of ice, and a towel to wrap everything up. Oh yeah baby - you have to think outside the box to be a successful father. I'll fill up the grocery bag containing the ice cream with the ice, then wrap it up with the towel so the cold doesn't escape. Brilliant!

The ice cream made it home still perfectly frozen and JoAnna enjoyed the flavor I bought for her. Now all I can think about is that next ice cream run I will need to make!

I only have a few minutes this morning, so I would like to jot down 2 notes:

• JoAnna has been extremely forgetful or ditzy on a lot of things lately. I am not talking about ditzy like a blonde, but just not her usual sharp self. I think I have heard the story about her dad and his pills about 5 times in the last week. It almost reminds me of her former neighbor Mr. Brown who used to begin and end his conversations with the story about his dead brother and the time he was clubbed in the head with a beer bottle. My old boss called this "baby brain" and I am now a firm believer of it. Maybe I can take advantage of the situation though: "I hope you remember honey, but you promised me I could get a motorcycle for my birthday next week." I already tried the "You took $20 bucks from me last week, but forgot to pay me back" line with no success, so I am not counting on any breakthroughs.
• JoAnna is getting frustrated by her clothing. This morning she changed into 3 different outfits before she settled on one. 2 days ago I got an instant message at work from her saying that she had to unbutton her pants because they were uncomfortable. I just have this image of JoAnna in a pose like Al Bundy from Married With Children:

Friday fatherhood humor for you all.....

1.) This will be my kid and I will enjoy every last second I can get on film.




2.) Chris Rock once said that a daddy's biggest job was to keep their daughters off the pole. Well those funny Brits decided to make this a whole lot tougher a few years ago with this: http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/biz2/0701/gallery.101dumbest_2007/99.html

3.) I have done some odd things in life, but in 6 months you will never find me doing this little experiment. This is just so wrong, but so funny. And as the great Will Rogers once said - "Everything is funny, as long as it happens to someone else." Good point there Will. http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000142.php

Today I bought the 4th jar of pickles for JoAnna. This is not much until you consider this has only been in the last 2 weeks that JoAnna has gotten the craving. So cliche.

**UPDATE** She finished off the 4th jar in about 2 hours.

This is my kid. Holy s&^T...this is my kid!!??!!

Going to the doctor and looking at these pictures really brings things to reality.

When my wife first told me that we were expecting, I remember sitting in the restaurant at Boston Logan Airport thinking "Did she just tell me I am going to be a father?" I think I had a rather muted response not because I wasn't excited, but more because I was in an airport and the TSA these days is just looking for a reason to perform a BCS on an unsuspecting traveler. All I needed now was to have Officer Bob pop a cap in me because I was happy to be an expecting father.

After the first visit to the doctor it really set in. These pictures make it evident that your life is going to change and you now have a greater responsibility than you will ever know.

I am already proud of my kid. If you take a gander at the pic you will notice what the doctor called a "nubbin" down by its rump. Let's just keep it real...this is my kid's package. As the doctor went on to explain, all fetuses have this feature at 11 weeks so this is not "it" telling us we have a boy. But she did go on to say that ours had one that was "quite prominent." She then went on to say what every man wants to hear about his package - "It is impressive."

BOOYAH!! At age 11 weeks, my kid is already impressing the ladies. I guess that talk about the birds and bees will need to take place earlier than I thought.

I would like to welcome you to the first official post of My Journey to Fatherhood blog. I thought it would be fun to document my thoughts as we go through this thing called pregnancy.

Hopefully they will sometimes be funny and you will chuckle a bit...

Hopefully they make you think and sympathize with the plight of today's man as we go through this long, hormonal, tiring, hormonal, rewarding, yet hormonal time...

Much like my answer to "Do you want a boy or a girl?" I want something "healthy." Please, oh please lets not have this blog suck.