I am not going to let my few viewers off that easy. I decided to video as much of today that I could, so you will have to watch it and find out what we are going to have in October. Do not cheat and go to the end of the video - suck it up for 4:42 because I have been waiting for 18 weeks.

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I was coming back from doing a little shopping and somebody on XM was discussing movie dads. That got me thinking about this hypothetical - if I could create my soon-to-be dad persona, which movie dads would I like to have in my composition? So I think it only goes that I should create a list of movies containing what I consider to be the best, most entertaining dads. Here goes a short list from those that I have seen.

5.) Mr. Mom (Jack Butler) - I wish Michael Keaton was in more movies lately because I have always liked him. In this movie I really dig his ingenuity for getting things done such as using the iron to make a grilled cheese sammy, the hand dryer in the men's room to dry his kid's bottom, and stapling the woobie back together. But the best part of this movie is the complete role reversal where she brings home the bacon and he fries it up in a pan. It also isn't too shabby that he gets to have poker night with chicks - I could dig that.

4.) Parenthood (Gil Buckman) - One of my first records (you know, the vinyl kind) was Steve Martin's "Let's Get Small." I also used to have one of those arrow-through-the-head contraptions like he wore, so I have to have him on my list somewhere. I probably identify with this father character alot just because he seems to think like me. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it will probably be entertaining. I'll just have you know that I will not name my kid "Cool" and big ear cleaners while funny, will never be mistaken for a flashlight.

3.) The Sopranos (Tony Soprano) - OK, not really a movie but there is something about the dichotomy of being a bad-ass mobster yet still try to teach your kids morality and proper behavior. Classic irony.





2.) American Pie (Jim's Dad) - One of my guilty pleasures are rude, crude, teen movies that contain loads of sexual references and bathroom humor. I also love a good apple pie which was completely undone after I saw the director's cut of this flick. What doesn't scare the hell out of a father more than having to discuss the birds & bees, proper ways to use socks, and how to not "play" with your food all in the span of a few days?

1.) National Lampoon's Vacation (Clark W. Griswold) - Last week we were out in the New Mexican desert heading to some indian ruins by way of a very washboard dirt road - I couldn't help but think we were about to launch the car 50 yards. Never mind that the 2nd and 3rd installments were crap, this was probably the first movie I remember never wanting to go see as a kid but realized its genius later in life. It also gave me a term I started to use - "Griswoldian." So when JoAnna starts thinking of these big plans for perfect family trips and gatherings, I ask her to tap the brake because she is thinking a little "Griswoldian." Plus doesn't every family have an Eddie in it?

JoAnna has gone full dill and jumped from 5 directly to 7. Since it looks like she is making Vlasic the 6th component of the food pyramid, I took the liberty to invest in a large 46oz jar of kosher dills. Enough of the namby-pamby, pedestrian size jars, it was time to bust out the big-ass glass.

Even better is that tomorrow begins International Pickle Week. I am fairly confident my wife will be celebrating early and often.

What a slacker I am! I had such high aspirations for this blogging thing and I have quickly succumb to the pressures of the outside world. Maybe this is a good representation of what being a father will be like - I have all these grand ideas and plans laid out only to have things completely rearranged due to kid stuff. So in a weird sort of way maybe I can think of this as a test and not get too bent about it.

Since my last post very little "kid" things have happened. We visit the doctor on 5/21 to find out the sex, so that is going to be a very exciting time. Secretly my wife wants a girl so she can doll her up and secretly I want a boy so that the household is filled to the brim with testosterone (myself, kid, 3 male dogs). Pure and simple we just want a healthy pregnancy and child, just as long as it is a boy. ;)

JoAnna and I went to New Mexico & Colorado for a long weekend last week and had a great time with some fabulous friends. We stayed at a cabin on a lake up in the Rockies and had such a fantastic view. I could not stop admiring the view and thinking about how I need to do my part to make sure my kid sees nature in the same way.

Wait...did I just say that I need to preserve nature for my future generation? This cannot be! I have always been a go with the flow type of person and rarely stop to think about my actions and how they influence the future. Could this fatherhood thing really be changing my perspective on how I view the world? Probably. I already have my eye on a sweet minivan and that would have never happened just 6 months ago. Hopefully this is merely a softening of the ol' Joshster and not a complete wussification.

On the subject of the minivan - I talked to my coworker about it and we had a nice 30 minute conversation on all things related to the official vehicle of the soccer mom. It is amazing how detailed one can get discussing cupholders and backseat DVD systems. Something I caught as odd was both of us have wives that absolutely do not want to go the minivan route. The stigma has always sat squarely on the shoulders of men - a minivan is not manly because it doesn't go 0-60 in 5.5 seconds or cannot pull stumps out of the ground. I have always thought women embraced minivans like they embrace eating bon-bons on the couch while watching Oprah. Well...maybe I am wrong. But the minivan is cool and it will be mine one day - oh yes, it will be mine.

I have a rant formulating in my head for a later blog. It is about our doctor and his (lack of) dedication to technology. I actually will be meeting him for the first time next week when we talk about sex (of the baby), so I am going to hold off on that for now. But until then, any predictions on if it is going to be a boy or a girl?

This is a screen capture from an actual instant message session between myself and a coworker this morning. I know it is small, but if you click on the image it will open up a larger one.

I have a very low tolerance for body fluids. The one thing I am really nervous about is cleaning up after the kid until he/she is old enough to do it. I can barely clean up after our 3 dogs, so this story while funny because it involves poop actually scares the hell out of me.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the stinky.

We went to Central Market today for groceries and JoAnna scampered off to buy pickle jar #5. Upon coming back I gave her a look which must have been scolding because she dropped her head like one of our dogs after punishment.

I don't think I will be updating this post tonight saying she has downed the whole thing in one sitting because as JoAnna put it - she has a goal of one jar every 2 weeks. I almost believe her, but I can't get past her saying she didn't like the brand she bought tonight (not Vlasic) yet visited the jar more than once.

While on the subject of pickles - we went to Chick-Fil-A the other day for lunch. Both of us got a Chick-Fil-A sandwich which includes as they put "2 crucial pickles." Just as I think I know my wife's eating habits, she custom orders her sandwich to leave off the pickles. If you have any insight into how my wife works, please leave me a comment.

My birthday is coming up and I got a Flip Video Mino HD camcorder to produce quick videos. After I recorded this video and started watching it, I thought that I might record it again because I stumbled on a few words and it could probably be more engaging. But this is supposed to be spur of the moment stuff, so in the end spontaneity reigned over perfection. My future ones will probably be shorter since I normally don't talk more than 5 minutes at a time.